I do realise the only way to be happy is to forgive myself.

As a follow-up from yesterday's promise, I am going to do that too. Even if it's going to take forever or the help from someone wiser. Honestly, it sounds impossible. But the biggest thing I've learnt isn't about anything specific. It was to trust myself and never say "I'll TRY to". It's "I will". I'll stick to my promises from now on, if I fail to the first time, I'll be more determined the next.

Trust, belief, forgiveness. The problems probably center around these root causes, it'll be tough so please give me some time.